Saturday, August 16, 2008

Rushing months

  I wanted to post my comic strip but I haven edited it due to my workload.

  Group projects plus other projects need to be handed in week 7* which is way too fast for me. I know someone will say only me alway not enough time to finish it. Hopefully I can be able to finish all the stuff in time. 

  What I want write today is about life. 

 { Life was so simple so pure. But the inevitable happened , we eventually grew up. We became exposed to a world of betrayal , hate , lust , violence , greed , selfishness. We soon begin to realize that the fantasy world we are were living in isnt as perfect as the one we grew up thinking it was. }


I`m sure everyone also have the same feeling as me. There nothing to do except to be wary when some treat you nice in the front and stab you hard at the back. 

More about me:

 Before continue reading the rest . You may not get my meaning due to my poor english. I`m a person who doesnt care so much about my appearance and from times I`m quite blur. Deep in thought missing all my friends , buddy , family who had begin their own life. Engaging their stuffs and the limited time and resources that restricted me from contacting everyone single one of them. I`m a person who prefer old friends than new friends who think alike like me. I`m abit old traddition thinker so I alway may have problem communicating with the youngsters. I dont go into fashion although I love fashion. Despite what I have, a nikon camera and a mac and whatever. I wear those funny T-shirt and worn out jean to school giving the impression I am a shabby guy from some kampong. I`m not rich and alway ran out of money before reaching the last day of school for the week.  I alway hang out with a few people and my favorite spot is the canal bridge at the back of teckwhye secondary school where I can graze the stars and the moon. I`m more toward talking about our problem , life and thinking instead of playing a fool of each other. Alway from conversation, the bonding from the person become stronger. 

  I`m a guy yet sometime I thought I dont fit to be one. It funny and kind of weird but it just happen. When I try to be honest and nice, I was eaten up. When I try fight back , I was being eaten up again. Some people just believe I`m a person who is nerd , pevert , stubborn , reckless , blah blah. I`m not going to stand up and explain to them. Wasting my time to people who dont think and people who judge by appearance. Yes, I have a double personality which can be explain through my neurology and horoscope. 

  I was being questioned times to times why I pray at guan yin temple. The reason is simple. I pray for those who need more help and love than me. There are people starving , homeless , suffering , blah blah blah. I get to have nice foods, nice house and warmth with everyone I know but not everyone do. I do get provoked easily at times when sensitive issue like my bald head. I still laugh though I hate it. Having hair loss was due to the radiation from the computer and lack of sleep ever since I was 15 yr old. Things just accumulate and it just happen. I just lied to some people how it happen. I want to observe how they react and true as I expected. 

  I spend 2 years observing how will singaporean people will reacted when someone inferior to them mix around with them. It good and bad though bad things happen the most. Couldnt help but sigh when I realize how people think was so different. 

  Having more knowledge and power is a bonus in life. I have seen with my own eye how they use it for their own selfishness. Instead of sharing , they mock at other who are inferior to them. So sad this is how some clever people think. Didnt they know what go around will come back? 

  It going to be 3 yrs soon by next year May. I learnt alot of things. I couldnt help but to say that my current class. Only will a few will remain in contact. A discussion with one of the elder how thing work bring me to another direction about maintaining friendship. 

  The gal I love is breaking my heart. I never told her I like her anyway. She treat me as an jinx. From time to time, my heart weep although my brain will never understand why must it be her. Alas, from one incident. My heart finally died down and color change to dark purple from red. Dislike or hate about her is growing and maybe it more about her personality. Or is she a victim of the society too? Being betrayed , hated and fooled....I never know her history although how I wish I know. I just want to embrace her in my arm. However it all ended yesterday.

When time is ripe, I will send my gratitude and my apology to her. Ending one of my chapter of my life.

  A new chapter is being flipped. 

" I trust my feeling so much till feeling fade. A pathetic experience that was given by the god. Surviving the crisis with one breath left. Now I am merely a human without a soul. "

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