Monday, August 17, 2009

Estimation of my life

2009 - 2012 ( 3 yrs )

- Finish NS
- Finish a certain margin of self improvment
- Stabilizing my foundation in creative field

2012 - 2014 ( 3 yrs )

- Having a career in no less than 5k per month
- Sending my parent to any European countries to have their honeymoon
- Exploring oversea opportunities in career

2014 - 2020 ( 7 yrs )

- Working in Oversea in related creative field
- Exposure of culture difference in different part of the world

2020 onward

- Return to Singapore to open my own company related to creative field

There is no assurance that I could get a good job in oversea. However it was part of my dream to travel to different part of the world to learn and to appreciate. Even I could get one, there is no guarantee that I will return with a good reputation.

Last sat 3am plus. I was sharing my idea with brother. I tell him this, ' our parent never get to have honeymoon ever since we are born. They have sacrifice beyond the duty of being our parent. As their children, I no longer intend to think anything for myself except by trying to lessen their burden in life and actions to let them enjoy living as a human, an elder, a couple and as parent. '

' Through this several years in life, I see relationship nowaday is a very complex way in life that consume alot of energy. Being a fragile person, it is being my hope not to disappoint or hurt the person I love the most. For this reason, I prefer to walk away because I am not capable of giving her happiness.'

' Physical attractive or character attractive both are important and I do not have either. Neither am I able to express myself which by right love started from communication. I see myself single yet carefree though I will worry when I`m getting old but I will be the father of those bros* children. I will love them as what a father will do and guide them the balance of ideal and realistic. '

If I work oversea for years and return. Almost everyone will be married and the girl whom I like will be having kids running around in the living room. I will lost alot of friends too. It will be like starting all over again. From this point onward, I just see myself enjoying singlehood for the rest of my life.

A failure in relationship especially marriage failure not only cause emotional pain but also horrible event in my world.

I love what I am and how I look like. Fat or ugly, it is not our fault. We just have to be kind and thankful for being living in this world. We exist and let our existence be a meaningful one.

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